Dakovahotspot: Dakovahotspot: How to make love

Dakovahotspot: Dakovahotspot: How to make love: Dakovahotspot: How to make love : How to Make Love to a Man in 5 Tips JULY 20, 2015 How to Make Love to a Man By: Couples Counseli...

Dakovahotspot: Dakovahotspot: How to make love

Dakovahotspot: Dakovahotspot: How to make love: Dakovahotspot: How to make love : How to Make Love to a Man in 5 Tips JULY 20, 2015 How to Make Love to a Man By: Couples Counseli...

Dakovahotspot: Dakovahotspot: How to make love

Dakovahotspot: Dakovahotspot: How to make love: Dakovahotspot: How to make love : How to Make Love to a Man in 5 Tips JULY 20, 2015 How to Make Love to a Man By: Couples Counseli...

Dakovahotspot: How to make love

Dakovahotspot: How to make love: How to Make Love to a Man in 5 Tips JULY 20, 2015 How to Make Love to a Man By: Couples Counseling Staff The topic ...

How to make love

How to Make Love to a Man in 5 Tips

JULY 20, 2015

How to Make Love to a Man

By: Couples Counseling Staff

The topic of making love comes up a lot here at Couples Counseling Center. It’s a natural part of the dynamic when two people seek professional guidance on how to increase intimacyand overall relational pleasure.

The reason this post directly speaks to the topic of making love to a man is because many people incorrectly believe that guys aren’t interested in the “love” making part of intimacy.

That’s simply not true and is an unfortunate myth that has been part of our societal mix for some time now. The reality is that guys crave intimacy too – they just don’t talk about it. 

How to Make Love

One of the first things we try to encourage our clients to think about is the difference between making love and versus “kicking it”. In other words, love making involves an emotional, mindful connection whereas mere sex is often distant and maybe even robotic.

This “how to” guide on how to make love to a man focuses on the love making part and will hopefully provide some meaningful tips so that intimacy becomes more pleasurable, meaningful and fun.

Let’s jump right in!

How to make love to a man in 5 tips!

1) Make sure he truly cares about you

Love making isn’t possible unless two people care about one another. One of the best ways to understand the level of intimacy that you and your man share is toassess your specific love style.

If you are not feeling excited about making love or sense that he may be emotionally unavailable, it may be a good idea to hold off for a while. The real magic of love making happens when it is organic and spontaneous. Use your empathic abilities to tap into where the both of you are at. This leads us to our next point.

2) Understand how guys express love

One of the most frustrating things women (and some men) share with our relationship counselors relates to a perceived inability on the part of men to express love. The topic comes up so much that we created a special post designed to speak to this concern (see our post on how guys say I love you).

The main take-away here is to focus on what your man does with his actions versus just what he’s not saying.

Generally speaking, it has been our experience that men tend to avoid verbal expressions of intimacy and tend to demonstrate their emotions through actions. Knowing how your man expresses love to you can help you to feel more comfortable about where the two of you are at emotionally.

3) Use the “What” question as a guide

Under this point, we recommend that couples become mindful of their actions when sharing intimacy with one another. This means not simply going through the motions but instead, truly be present in the moment. There’s nothing new-age or “Zen” about this tip by the way and is fairly easy to pull off.

When you are with your guy, ask yourself: What am I aware of when I am touching him? What is his reaction when I move my hands across his body? What am I aware of about myself? The idea here is to increase awareness of the here and now.

If you are looking for ways to increase intimacy in a way that may help you to better tune into your man and yourself, consider reading our intimacy homework assignment post.

4) It’s all about the kiss

One of the most intimate, magical and powerful things about love making happens with the kiss. There are a number of reasons for this, including the way nerves are bundled in the lips and connected to the brain. But do you know how to kiss – for real?

There really is an art to making out and is part of foreplay. We encourage our clients to learn as much as they can about kissing. We even put together a post for men to learn how to kiss.

Our point here is to not be passive. Instead, be part of the kiss and actively involved in lip locking.

5) Express what you are feeling in the moment

The final tip we encourage clients to think about is to verbally express what they are feeling. You don’t have to use a bunch of “Oohs and Oh Yeah!” either. Simply stating something like,baby I really like that works just fine.

On this final point, expressing what you are feeling in the moment can also mean simply going with it. Don’t freak out if your guy starts to touch you in places he hasn’t in the past. Part of love making means learning about what turns him on and not judging.

If he touches your feet, your ears or licks your body, go with it. If the two of you are emotionally linked, chances are you will be doing some new things as well – to him.

Final Thoughts

Making love to a man shouldn’t be all that mysterious. Still, many struggle with how to proceed. To help build upon what has been shared here, we would like to recommend the book, How To Make Love to a Man by Alexandra Penney.

What we like about this read are the fun, practical tips that can be applied to most couples situations. If you are looking for a way to increase intimacy in your relationship, make sure you pick this one up!

Copied from:Counselling Unit in Chicago

 

Dakovahotspot: Chibok Escapee met his water loo in Abuja

Dakovahotspot: Chibok Escapee met his water loo in Abuja: Chibok escapee killed in Abuja The Sun News / Uche Atuma / 20 hours ago Father of 10 loses life, Okada to robbers By ROMANUS UGWU Th...

Dakovahotspot: True confession:How I slept with my husband's Best...

Dakovahotspot: True confession:How I slept with my husband's Best...: Confessions: I slept with my husband's friend while he was away on a funeral By   Dear Coleen I’ve been married to a wonderful man ...

Uwazuruike alleges plot to islamize Nigeria by Apc Government

Chief Ralph Uwazuruike led Biafra Independence Movement (BIM) has accused the All Progressive Congress (APC) led Federal Government for alleged plots of transforming Nigeria into an Islamic State to the advantage of the Moslems in Nigeria.

Uwazuruike who spoke through the Biafra Director of information, Mr. Chris Mocha revealed that the Organization of an Islamic State (OIC) is an organization that does not hide its ambition to Islamize any country not only its member states but the whole world, urged Igbo tribe and our Niger Delta brothers to resist any attempt to extend the jihad that is bound to come to their territory.

According to him, “For some time now, some Northern Muslim leaders who are also members of Arewa consultative forum (ACF) had approached Buhari and advised him to transform Nigeria into an Islamic State. I urge my people to resist any attempt to Islamize the country as they are always targets and worst hit of every crises in the North and south West’’.

He however disclosed that already the former Nigerian Military President Gen. Ibrahim Badamosi Babargida (Retd) had in 1986 unilaterally took Nigeria to OIC, saying that the testing of sharia in Zamfara State and other Northern States, it appeared tested the waters for the Islamic State in Nigeria.

The BIM leader also raised the alarm over steady influx of armed fulani herdsmen into Enugu, Imo, Delta and Anambra States and alleged and regretted that Igbo tribe is likely to be the worst hit of attempt to Islamize Nigeria just as Igbos were the major victims of the sharia crises in the North.

“Some local communities have already received the warning letters of possible attack by the Armed Fulani herdsmen including Okpanam, Iselle-uku, Irete, Mberi, Okigwe. Others are Achalla, Atani, Igbariam, Umumbo, Omasi and Nimbo in Uzo-uwani Local Government of Enugu state” he alleged.

The group however condemned the murder of an Orodo, Imo state born late Mrs Bridget Agbahime killed in Kano by Muslim extremists and stated that the late Mr. Gideon Akaluka who was also beheaded in Kano in 1994 by some Muslim fundamentalists, formed part of reason for the renewed agitation for Biafra by its leader and founder of MASSOB, Chief Uwazuruike.

“BIM demanded for an open trial of the suspects arrested for the murder of Mrs. Agbahime but lamented that none of the culprits who committed similar heinous murder against Igbo Christians in the past were ever brought to book by either the State or the federal government pointing out that their statement only ended on the pages of Newspapers” he lamented.


http://sunnewsonline.com/uwazuruike-alleges-plot-by-apc-govt-to-islamize-nigeria/

True confession:How I slept with my husband's Best friend

Confessions: I slept with my husband's friend while he was away on a funeral
By
 

Dear Coleen
I’ve been married to a wonderful man for four years. We’re both 33 and have been together 10 years. Now I’m worried I’ve destroyed our marriage.

My husband has this friend who’s a Jack the lad character and goes from woman to woman.
My husband has always worried about him trying it on with me. I’ve always said he has nothing to worry about and that I’d never do anything like that.


About two weeks ago my husband and I had an argument over something and nothing. We never argue.

That night he had to go away for two days to attend a funeral. The same night I met up with some of my girlfriends in town.

I got really drunk and said to my friends that I was going home.

It was only about 11.30pm, so I waited for a late bus and my husband’s friend came past in a taxi and offered me a lift, which I accepted.
The taxi stopped outside my house and we saw lights flicking on and off in my living room, so this friend came inside with me to check it out.
But it was just a light bulb flickering on and off. We went back outside, but the taxi had gone. He called for another but it was going to be 30 minutes, so I told him to come inside to wait.

I was still a bit upset about the argument with my hubby, so I got some wine out and we chatted for a bit on the sofa.

Well, one glass of wine turned in to three or four and when I was sat close to him I could see why women fall for him.
The next thing, he was kissing me and then we ended up having sex.
I can’t believe I’ve done this to my husband. The one thing I said I would never do. I never thought I would cheat. I love my husband so much and I don’t know what to do.
I feel so guilty, but if I tell him he will leave me. I need your advice.Coleen says
If you’re being honest, there was a part of you that was attracted to the fact that he fancied you - and your hubby spotted that.



When you’ve been together a long time, it’s nice to know you’re still attractive to other people, however, that should have been enough.

You’ve made an awful mistake in a moment of madness, but I don’t think you can get away with not telling your husband.

First of all, from your letter I’m not sure you’re the type of person who’d be able to live with the guilt.

And, even if you could, I wouldn’t trust this so-called friend not to let the cat out of the bag - he wouldn’t be able to resist telling your hubby or at least making sure he found out.
So, if I were in your shoes, I’d have to own up to it and take my chances, even if I thought my husband might leave me over it.

All you can do is hope that when he calms down he’ll realise this friend is no friend and that he doesn’t want to throw away 10 years with you over him.

Yes, it takes two to tango, and you’re equally responsible, but I think this guy had his eye on you and he made his move when you were vulnerable.

I don’t know whether your husband will forgive you but, if he does, you’ll have to be prepared for the fact that your relationship will change and it will be shaky for a long time.

However, I’ve seen this happen to other couples and they’ve worked through it successfully.

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Chibok Escapee met his water loo in Abuja

Chibok escapee killed in Abuja

The Sun News / Uche Atuma / 20 hours ago

Father of 10 loses life, Okada to robbers

By ROMANUS UGWU

The Pudza family of Chibok in Borno State, currently living in Pegi village in Federal Capital Territory (FCT) as Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs), lost Joseph, on May 20, this year.
The 45 -year- old farmer and father of 10 children from two wives, had fled Chibok to Abuja in October 2014, after he narrowly escaped the second deadly attack on his community by Boko Haram insurgents. Unfortunately, his escape from terrorists ended abruptly last month as he was killed by motorcycle robbers.
It was gathered that Joseph, a former cattle owner, who took to operating commercial motorcycle (okada) to enable him fend for his family while in their forced exile, had initially relocated seven of his children and aged mother from Chibok to Abuja after the abduction of the Chibok school girls in June, 2014 and stayed back with his wife and two children. However, the second attack on the community in November of same year, made him have a re-think and he fled Chibok with his wife to join his children and 80 year- old mother in Abuja.
Instead of moving into one of the IDPs camps in the FCT, Joseph joined the rest of his family in an uncompleted building belonging to his immediate elder brother in Pegi village, and he quickly adjusted to the realities of his new life, facing the attendant challenges.
Mindful that he had to work hard to sustain his large family, he wasted no time in going into farming and part-time commercial motorcycle operation, from which he was able to enroll his children in schools and sustain the family.
Joseph wasted no time in making Pegi his home, forgetting completely the Boko Haram-inflicted sorrow and pain that denied him comfort back home in Chibok. For him, God replaced all that the locust of Boko Haram consumed.

Killed by Okada robbers
Unfortunately, just as the Pudzas were beginning to rejoice in their newfound home that they had recovered all that the Boko Haram took away from them, tragedy struck on the night of Friday, May 20, when yet-to-be-identified robbers killed their breadwinner along Kuje-Pegi Road and made away with his motorcycle and money.
They slashed Joseph’s throat, leaving him to die.

Body recovered by police
Narrating the circumstances that led to Joseph’s death and how the family received the news, his elder brother, Habila Pudza, told Abuja Metro that he received a telephone call from Kuje police station inviting him over, adding that he later meandered the crowd to shockingly identify his brother’s corpse.
The heartbroken father of four said he was at crossroads over how to take care of his late brother’s family in addition to his own and their old mother.
He said: “I am a staff of National Population Commission (NPC) and the late Joseph’s elder brother. We are from Chibok town. What brought my late brother and his family to Abuja in the first place, was the insecurity inflicted on our community by Boko Haram insurgency.
“After Boko Haram’s abduction of the Chibok schoolgirls, I relocated my mother and seven of my brother’s children to Abuja to save them from further attacks. But Joseph and his wife stayed behind with two other children since his first daughter is already married. When Boko Haram stormed Chibok the second time, they were lucky to escape to Abuja right from their farm. In fact, that fateful day, they were in the farm when the attackers came, and they did not return to Chibok again from that farm.
“Interestingly, since the first attack, they adopted the measure of carrying all their money on them and that was how they were able to escape from the farm, left his cows and farm, walked several kilometres to a bus station, where they boarded a bus to Abuja to re-unite with their family members.
“As an industrious man, as soon as he arrived in Abuja, he wasted no time in engaging himself in something. Aware how I was struggling to sustain his seven children, he pleaded that I escort him to Gwagwalada to purchase a motorcycle for N130,000 for commercial purpose, to enable him feed his family. He combined the Okada business with other jobs like farming to make ends meet. It was while things were beginning to stabilise for him that the devils from the pit of hell snuffed life out of him on that fateful Friday night.
“My brother’s wife had called me at about 1am to complain that her husband was not yet at home. Since there was nothing I could do at that time because his telephone was switched off, I told her we had no option than to wait till morning. I told her to get across to his fellow Okada operators that night to see if they knew his whereabouts. However, shockingly around 6 am on Saturday, when I was about leaving home to search for him, I received a call from one of our brothers, informing me that my attention was needed at Kuje police station.
“On getting there, I saw some of our kinsmen among the crowd that gathered round a man lying dead. My kinsmen told me they had gone out to search for him as early as 5am but did not see him, and on getting to the police station to report his disappearance, they saw his body inside the police van. Policemen later told them that they found the body by the roadside.
“I was confused when I removed the leaves used to cover the body and discovered it was my brother. Many things raced in mind. How would I break the news to his wife and even my aged mother without causing her death? She was sentimentally attached to him more than all of us.

How he died
“There are many versions to the circumstances that led to his death but from what I gathered at the police station, one of his female customers living in Pegi had pleaded with him to drop her at Kuje for a Christian vigil that day and he reluctantly accepted because he did not like working at night.
“I was told that two men had approached a fellow Okada rider in Kuje to take them to Pegi, but he referred them to my brother because he was returning to Pegi. I do not know whether he engaged the robbers in a fight to save his Okada and they sliced his throat, leaving him to bleed to death. Police told me that while returning from patrol around 5am on Saturday, they saw his corpse by the roadside along Pegi Road.

Buried in Abuja
“We had to retrieve his remains from the police for burial in Abuja. There is no need taking his corpse back to Chibok because all our family members are still in Abuja. We do not have any relative in the community because it is still not safe to return to Chibok. Again, it would have been very difficult raising funds to take his remains back to Chibok.

Vengeance is of God
From all indications, the Pudza family after burying their dead, has resigned to fate, leaving vengeance to God.
Habilla said: “Since we buried him, we have not heard anything from the police and we have not also gone back there to ask them how far they have gone with the investigations. We have left vengeance to God.
“My message to the people that killed him in cold blood and made away with his motorcycle is that they should repent and surrender themselves to the authorities.

Plea for help
“However, I want to appeal to the government and well-meaning Nigerians to come to the aid of the family. My late brother knew he was only a sojourner here. He ran away from Chibok to save his life and his family but unfortunately, what he ran away from at Chibok, caught up with him here.”

A widow’s pain
Speaking through as interpreter, Joseph’s widow, Naomi, amid sobs said she has left everything in the hands of God, adding that she does not really know what to do and how to feed her children.
While praying to God to forgive those who made her a young widow, she said: “Honestly, I do not really know what is happening to me and I do not know what to do. Fate has been very harsh on us. In Chibok, we were okay because my husband had a huge farmland. We had cattle and goats, we left everything to save our lives but now, my husband has been killed by evil men.” she lamented.
“What can I do? How can I alone feed and train these children? I will leave everything in the hands of God and as for those who killed my husband, I pray that God should forgive them because they do not know what they did.”
Source:Nigeria news